Life is better when you are laughing. Sometimes, a quick joke or a clever remark is all you need to brighten a dull moment.
This collection is packed with cheeky humor and playful wit. It is designed for those who don’t take things too seriously and love a good laugh.
Explore these quotes to find the perfect comeback or a funny thought to share with your friends today.
Funny Quotes Full of Cheeky Humor
I am not lazy; I am just on energy-saving mode.
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.
I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
I don’t need a hair stylist; my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
My life feels like a test I didn’t study for.
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
I put the “pro” in procrastination.
I am currently experiencing life at a rate of several “what the hecks” per hour.
Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.
I’m not indecisive. Am I?
My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.
I followed my heart and it led me to the fridge.
I don’t have a bad handwriting; I have my own font.
I’m a social butterfly with social anxiety.
If there was an award for being lazy, I’d send someone to pick it up for me.
I’m great at multitasking; I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
Silence is golden, unless you have kids; then silence is just suspicious.
I’m not a complete idiot; some parts are missing.
Common sense is like deodorant; the people who need it most never use it.
I’m actually not funny; I’m just mean and people think I’m joking.
If you think I’m crazy, you should see me with my best friend.
I don’t trip; I do random gravity checks.
I’m not messy; I’m just “organized in a way you don’t understand.”
My daily exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch; I call it lunch.
I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do.
I came, I saw, I forgot what I was doing.
I don’t need an inspirational quote; I need coffee.
I’m not short; I’m fun-sized.
Life is short; smile while you still have teeth.
I’m not ignoring you; I’m just prioritizing my peace of mind.
I don’t have an attitude; I have a personality you can’t handle.
My brain has too many tabs open.
Everything happens for a reason, but sometimes the reason is that you’re stupid.
I’m not old; I’m just chronologically gifted.
I whisper “what the heck” to myself at least twenty times a day.
Funny Quotes for Instagram
Reality called, so I hung up.
Confidence level: Selfie with no filter.
I’m just a girl standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut.
Life isn’t perfect, but my hair is today.
Namast’ay in bed.
Stress doesn’t really go with my outfit.
I’m doing great, thanks for asking. (I am not doing great).
Friday, my second favorite F-word.
I’m just here for the snacks.
Living proof that I can survive on caffeine and sarcasm.
I’m not a snack; I’m the whole meal.
Throwing shade like it’s sunny.
Adulting is like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park.
Sending my selfie to NASA because I’m a star.
Keep your head high and your middle finger higher.
I like my coffee how I like myself: dark, bitter, and too hot for you.
Too lit to quit.
Proof that I can do better than your ex.
Maybe she’s born with it; maybe it’s an Instagram filter.
I’m not bossy; I’m the boss.
Making my parents proud by staying hydrated.
Sunshine mixed with a little hurricane.
I’m just a daydreamer with a caffeine addiction.
Self-love is the best love, but pizza is a close second.
Just dropped my phone on my face; so that’s how my day is going.
Being a functional adult is hard.
Classy, sassy, and a bit smart-assy.
My favorite exercise is running out of money.
Limited edition.
I don’t dress up for boys; I dress up to stare at my reflection in store windows.
Escape the ordinary, or just go back to sleep.
Currently holding my life together with one bobby pin.
Brains are awesome; I wish everybody had one.
Vibe check: Passed with flying colors.
Sorry for what I said when I was hungry.
Not your average human.
Funny Quotes About Life
Life is what happens when you’re busy scrolling through your phone.
If life gives you lemons, throw them back and ask for chocolate.
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
Life is a bowl of cherries, and I’m the one who gets the pit.
Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.
Adulting is just pretending to know what you’re doing until you die.
Life is too short to fold fitted sheets.
I’m just here to pet all the dogs.
My life is about 90% “I’ll do it later.”
The road to success is always under construction.
I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.
Life is like a helicopter; I don’t know how to fly a helicopter.
Everything is funny as long as it’s happening to somebody else.
I’m not failing; I’m just finding a lot of ways that don’t work.
Life would be much easier if it had a “save” and “load” button.
I think my guardian angel drinks.
The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a few payments.
Life is a series of “I’ll start my diet on Monday” lies.
I’m not sure if I’m living life or if life is living me.
My life is a constant battle between my love for food and not wanting to get fat.
Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted.
I don’t need a middle man; I can ruin my own life just fine.
Yesterday I was smart, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing my clothes.
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving isn’t for you.
Life is a struggle, but at least the snacks are good.
I’m just a human being trying to be a human doing.
My life is a work in progress, but the progress is very slow.
Life is like a roll of toilet paper; the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.
I’ve reached the age where “happy hour” is a nap.
Life is what happens when you’re making other plans.
You can’t have everything; where would you put it?
Life is a game, and I forgot the rules.
The only thing I’m gaining in life right now is weight.
I’m just here for the plot twists.
Life doesn’t have a remote; get up and change it yourself.
Funny Quotes for Friends
We’ll be friends until we’re old and senile. Then we’ll be new friends.
I love that I don’t have to act socially acceptable around you.
We are best friends because everyone else sucks.
I’d take a bullet for you, but please don’t make me.
You don’t have to be crazy to be my friend, but it helps.
God made us best friends because one mom couldn’t handle us as sisters.
Friends buy you food; best friends eat your food.
I hope we’re friends until we die, and then I hope we stay ghost friends.
A good friend will help you move; a best friend will help you move a body.
You’re the “she” to my “nanigans.”
I was an innocent being until I met you.
Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway.
We’ve been friends for so long I can’t remember which one of us is the bad influence.
I’d give you the last slice of pizza, but I don’t want to lie to you.
If you fall, I will be there to pick you up… after I finish laughing.
You think I’m crazy? You should see my friends.
I think we will be friends forever because we’re too lazy to find new ones.
A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg even though they know you’re slightly cracked.
Our friendship is built on sarcasm, laughter, and inappropriate jokes.
I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.
I will always text you back… eventually.
We are the people our parents warned us about.
Thank you for being the person who hates the same people I do.
Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
A friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself.
I don’t know what’s tighter, our jeans or our friendship.
I will follow you into the dark, but I’m bringing a flashlight.
You’re the friend I’d feel the least bad about being trapped in an elevator with.
I’m glad we’re friends because I’d hate to have you as an enemy.
True friendship is when you walk into their house and your phone automatically connects to the Wi-Fi.
If we were on a sinking ship, I’d share my life jacket with you. Maybe.
I would walk through fire for you. Well, not fire, that’s dangerous. But a super humid room.
Friends are the family you choose for yourself.
I trust you with my secrets, but not with my snacks.
You’re the only person I can talk to while I’m on the toilet.
Best friends don’t care if your house is clean; they care if you have wine.