Some days, it feels like the universe is playing a giant prank on you. From missing the bus to dropping your toast face-down, bad luck has a way of finding us all.
This collection of quotes looks at those moments when nothing goes right. It turns our shared struggles into something we can laugh about together.
Explore these lines to see that you are not alone. Even on your unluckiest days, there is always a way to find a little humor.
Bad Luck Quotes Everyone Can Relate to
If it weren’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all.
I’m the kind of person who would get a paper cut from a lottery ticket.
My luck is like a reverse magnet for everything good.
I stepped out for a breath of fresh air and a bird used me for target practice.
If I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
My life is a series of “of course that happened” moments.
I have a black belt in being at the wrong place at the wrong time.
If it’s raining soup, I’ll be the one standing there with a fork.
My guardian angel must be on a permanent coffee break.
I’m the reason they have to write warning labels on things.
If I found a four-leaf clover, it would probably give me an allergic reaction.
I finally reached the light at the end of the tunnel, but it was just an oncoming train.
Bad luck isn’t a phase for me; it’s a lifestyle.
I’m the only person who can lose a game of Solitaire.
If I fell into a barrel of nipples, I’d come out sucking my thumb.
My lucky star is actually a falling meteorite.
I decided to follow my dreams, but they led me straight into a puddle.
I put on my lucky socks and immediately stepped in something wet.
If I won the lottery, I’d probably lose the ticket in a storm.
My karma must have been a real jerk in a past life.
I’m the person who gets stuck behind a tractor when I’m already late.
Bad luck follows me like a shadow that won’t go away even at night.
If there’s a one percent chance of failure, I’ll find a way to make it a hundred.
I finally found the key to success, but someone changed the lock.
My life story is a comedy of errors where I’m the only one not laughing.
I have enough bad luck to power a small city.
If I were a cat, I’d lose all nine lives on the first day.
My luck is like a Wi-Fi signal in a basement—non-existent.
I’m the reason “Plan B” was invented.
If I tossed a coin, it would probably land on its edge and roll down a sewer.
I have the Midas touch, but everything turns to cardboard.
I’m not unlucky; I’m just a statistical outlier for misfortune.
Every time I think I’ve hit rock bottom, someone hands me a shovel.
My fortune cookie was empty, and honestly, that’s progress.
If I were a superhero, my power would be attracting bad timing.
I’m the person who buys a new car and gets a flat tire in the driveway.
My luck is so bad that even my shadow tries to distance itself.
If I stood in a line of two, I’d still be in the slow lane.
I finally got my ducks in a row, but they were actually decoy ducks.
Bad luck is the only thing I can consistently count on.
I’m the person who drops their toast butter-side down every single time.
If I tried to catch a break, I’d probably break a finger.
My luck is like a boomerang that forgets to come back but still hits me.
I’m the reason “bad things happen in threes” is a rule.
If I were a sailor, the ocean would dry up.
My life is a “how-to” guide on what not to do.
I’m the only person who can get a sunburn on a rainy day.
If I found a pot of gold, it would be filled with chocolate coins that are already melted.
My luck is like a phone battery that dies at 20 percent.
I’m the human equivalent of a “404 Not Found” error.
If I played hide and seek, nobody would bother to look for me.
My luck is so bad that I could get lost in a straight hallway.
I’m the guy who brings an umbrella and the sun comes out, but only for everyone else.
If I were a bird, I’d fly into a closed window.
My life is 10% talent and 90% “you’ve got to be kidding me.”
I’m the person who gets a “check engine” light on a bicycle.
If I sat on a haystack, I’d be the one to find the needle.
My luck is like a pencil lead that breaks every time you sharpen it.
I’m a professional at making the wrong choice at the right time.
If I went to a party, I’d be the one who spills red wine on a white rug.
My luck is like a joke where I’m the punchline.
I’m the reason “unforeseen circumstances” is a phrase.
If I tried to swim with the current, the river would reverse.
My luck is so bad that I’d get a busy signal calling the emergency line.
I’m the person who gets a mosquito bite through a winter coat.
If I were a plant, I’d be a weed that gets pulled.
My luck is like a map that’s upside down and in a different language.
I’m the person who walks into a door that says “pull” by pushing.
If I were a star, I’d be the one that burns out during a proposal.
My luck is like a kite in a room with no wind.
I’m the person who catches the flu on their first day of vacation.
If I were a dog, I’d chase a car and actually catch it.
My life is a series of unfortunate events, and I haven’t even met Count Olaf.
I’m the person who loses their glasses while they’re on their head.
If I were a chef, I’d burn a salad.
My luck is like a puzzle with one piece missing.
I’m the person who gets a popcorn kernel stuck in their tooth on the first bite.
If I were a magician, I’d disappear and forget how to come back.
My luck is like a movie that cuts to a commercial at the best part.
I’m the human version of a “please wait” loading screen.
If I were a fish, I’d jump into the boat.
My luck is so bad that my “lucky” number is a negative one.
I’m the person who trips over their own shadow.
If I were a clock, I’d lose five minutes every hour.
My luck is like a umbrella that flips inside out in the wind.
I’m the person who accidentally sends a text about someone to that person.
If I were a squirrel, I’d forget where I buried all my nuts.
My life is a “before” picture for a product that doesn’t work.
I’m the person who gets a cold during the hottest week of summer.
If I were a lightbulb, I’d flicker when someone enters the room.
My luck is like a pair of headphones that only work in one ear.
I’m the person who runs out of gas a block away from the station.
If I were a book, the ending would be missing.
My luck is like a cake that looks delicious but is made of salt.
I’m the person who gets a flat tire on a spare tire.
If I were a shoe, I’d be the left one in a box of rights.
My life is a constant game of “what else could go wrong?”
I’m the person who buys something right before it goes on sale.
If I were a bee, I’d be allergic to pollen.
My luck is like a cloud that only rains on my head.
I’m not saying I’m unlucky, but even my lucky penny is dented.